There seems to be a consensus among my friends and I that we aren't overly impressed by this season's competitors. I'm not sure if it's because Bravo is casting for drama or if PR is an idea that may be running itself out (see: the last cycle of America's Next Top Model.)

Okay, when is someone gonna punch Suede in Suede's annoying little mouth? I hate to advocate violence, and I hate that Suede talking about Suede in the third person is getting under my skin. I think next week's challenge should be making gags for Suede and Blayne.

I read an interview with Christian Siriano recently where he expressed distaste for Blayne's efforts in turning "--licious" into a catchphrase. "Do not even try to steal my fierce thunder, bitch!" is what I imagine him saying. What he actually said was, "I can't listen to somebody say 'licious' all day long to get it popular. It's not funny to me. I really just can't hear that."

Tonight's challenge is New York at night serving as inspiration for an outfit for a night out on the town. The contestants get dropped off at various locations in the city and start snapping away.

Emily was inspired by money, movement, energy and something else. People, I think. I don't know what people are going to be excited by her bizarro orange ruffle. The judges certainly aren't.

Jennifer takes a picture of a clock for "the city that never sleeps." Daniel says her resulting dress looks matronly. I wonder if J's run out of time here... haw haw.

Daniel's in his zone taking a picture of a wet shadow. His work is passable and clearly represents the picture and his point of view.

Blayne asks if there's a tanning salon nearby and ends up with some psychedelic gel projector looking photograph. His dress (see photo at right) is fug. I don't even know what that is... some sort of spandex figure skating costume from an 80s Ice Capades show, maybe?

Stella can't figure out how to use her camera but says, "I am rock and roll. And I'm gonna die being rock and roll and if you don't like it get the %*$! outta here." I like the way the end of her statement drifted off into a Joe Pesci-like whine. She's chosen a photo of a studded horse blinder and her "gay little grommet" hammering is pissing everyone off, but I like the final result. It's a bit trashy but so is Stella. In a good way.

Kelli shoots a Mad Max-esque fire hydrant. Her resulting dress is definitely Mad Max. Not sure it shouts "will put out fire," though.

Terri gets grafitti. Blurry grafitti. Her dress looks like a Monet (in both senses of the word). Not sure what those pants were all about. Guest judge Sandra Bernhard (who looks totally scary now she's had so much plastic surgery) wrote "Fierce, sexy and in control. I have a knife and I will cut you up!" Okay!

Keith likes the colors on some building (but uses a ruined wet magazine cover) and talks about how it's tough being gay in Salt Lake City. I bet. His model drops out, but as Keith opines, "You have to make it work. You have to create killer fashion." Too bad the judges don't think so, and Michael Kors says, "It literally looked like toilet paper caught in a windstorm."

I can't tell what Kenley's shot. She's too busy bitching about Keith. Oh, it's a map and her fabric looks nothing like it. The final look... hahaha... yeah (see photo at top). Oh my God, the judges like it?! Sigh.

Jerrell's wearing a facial mask. He took a picture of a fountain. His dress is olive green and has a ruffled train. I don't understand the leap, but he designs for Saudi royalty so what do I know, right?

Joe shoots a lighting fixture. How very hetero. The resulting dress gets him to the next round, but I can't say I'm excited about it.

Suede "is here to rock it" and is "working with a shirtdress silhouette." I can practically hear the producers off-screen going "use the third person more! More! MORE!!!!" It's not... awful, but he's worried it doesn't represent New York.

Korto designed a black jumpsuit. A boring. Black. Jumpsuit... that's based on... God only knows what. I don't know who's going out on the town in these outfits. I'm perturbed.

Leanne's dress looks interesting. Not sure how it represents architectural tree planter yet, but we'll see. The skirt is beautiful but the top sort of ruins it for me. Heidi would wear it, though, and MK loves that it's separates because "let's be honest, people don't wear dresses every day of their lives!"

At one point tonight Tim said, "Choose a way." I like "Make it work" better. Hilariously, we got to hear T perplexedly exclaim, "Holla at ya boy!" I think I've found my new voicemail message.

Kenley and her stupid tulle bubble skirt win (which is further proof this show has gone off the rails). Emily and her poorly placed ruffle are out. K looks angry. I'm not sure why they keep showing her and her mopey face as they bid farewell to E. Are they dating now? Beware the PR hookup! Last week Wesley (who's dating Daniel) got auf'ed and now this? I'm not trying to start rumors (well, not really, anyway), I just don't understand those shots. She won. She should be thrilled, right?!

Oh, and I didn't write about last week's So You Think You Can Dance because I was so shocked about Will's departure I didn't know what to say. Also, I was tired and had to wake up at 4.30 am last Thursday so I could go to Whistler, inhale dust and scramble around on a mountaintop. I will recap tonight and tomorrow's show after this week's results are in.

Toodles!
Ms. P

Labels: fashion, project runway, so you think you can dance, tv