Without further ado, let's get down to the nitty gritty... America's Next Top Model spoilers - consider yourself warned.

Last week Ambreal got a reprieve... will she make it through another elimination? I don't care but let's see...

l thought they'd cut the bitch off Bianca along with all her nasty hair, but apparently not as the fangs came back out this week.

Chantal, as Maisy said, thinks she's all that. If vacant blondes are all that then yes, she is.

Tyra teaches the girls to slide down the wall like some sort of wormy sluts and crawl across the floor like they're Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks. This just seems wrong.

Heather (Indiana Asbergers), one of the most beautiful models on the show, looks incredibly... strange sometimes. Kind of like when you see girls in Playboy and they look possibly attractive but then you see the promotional videos and what they really look like is something rather different. But Heather changes like this from scene to scene. Bit spooky.

They're all excited about meeting Enrique Iglesias. But not as excited as they were for Tyson Beckford. Lisa (the exotic dancer) and Heather win featured roles in Enrique's video (where the girls all portray nightclub vampires or something silly like that). Lisa looks like a poodle died on her head and Bianca's turning an ugly shade of green. I wonder what it's like to be that ungracious.

Cover Girl Commercial Break: Jaslene has a billboard in Times Square. Great. Can't wait to see that when I'm there in a couple weeks. Maybe I can climb up and draw a big mustache on her

Sarah, the plus size chick who's hardly plus sized keeps whining about being... plus size. She's cute, but it's annoying.

Heather is chosen for this season's "girl who collapses" moment. Nothing's ever going to beat Rebecca from Cycle 4, though, who fainted during judging. That might sound cold, but if you'd watched five cycles of this show in the last two months or so, you'd understand.

Critique time (for their performance in Enrique's vid):

Lisa gets raves for wrapping her leg around Enrique.

Tyra paints Ambreal with the hoochie brush.

Tootie (Saleisha) has great cheekbones and they harped on Sara's weight loss once again.

Jenah smiled which is apparently bad because vampires don't smile. Everybody loves Heather. This will be the new companion show to Everybody Hates Chris.

Chantal looks like a moron and Tyra pretty much tells her so.

Bianca's making smoochie faces at the camera. I see now. It wasn't the bitch part of her that got lopped off with the hair. It was the brain.

Decision time... sayonara Sarah. She's heartbroken and it's pretty sad but then they showed the clip of her pulling a large strand of paper out of her nose. Uh...

Now I'm being tortured by Enrique. Time to watch Joe Mantegna get chewy on Criminal Minds and go to sleep.

Or maybe I'll watch Frontline so the dulcet tones of Will Lyman can lull me into slumber.

Tchuss!
Ms. P

Labels: america's next top model, criminal minds, frontline, tv, tyra banks, tyson beckford, will lyman