Things I've heard since moving to Kentucky:"I always wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant so I could hear people talk Chinese."
- said to me by a friend's cousin when meeting me for the first time.
"Are you two related?"
- said to me at tae kwon do class by someone who saw me talking to the only other Asian person there.
"Even though I'd already told myself that I was going to end up looking fat/ugly/Asian/stoned in the photo, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I could do something to make myself look better."
- read on a blog by a Louisvillian who was fretting about getting a publicity picture taken.
"Konichiwa!"
- yelled at me at Mall St. Matthews by an employee at the Mobile Solutions kiosk that sits across from the food court and Forever 21.
Things I heard growing up in Texas:"Chink"
- the standard go-to Asian racist slur.
"Go home you fish faced gook!"
- said to me by a skinhead girl who was threatening to beat me up.
"Get that gook off the screen, my living room smells like fish!"
- said by a caller to an Austin cable access show that a friend of mine used to host in response to a video he played of me.
"You sure are a bitch for an Oriental. My wife is Phillipino and she never talks back."
- said by a guy who was trying to pick me up because I'm Asian.
I find these days when I call people on racist statements, jokes, etc. that I'm told I need to get a sense of humor, that I should stop being so sensitive, or that they have Asian friends who don't care so I should lighten up. That I'm being told this by caucasians who live in a predominately white town baffles me. Worse, the people saying these things are often liberals who really ought to know better.
While I believe that taking offense over crap like this only gives the idiot who's making the slur the power, I also don't understand why such sentiments need to be expressed in the first place. It's a lazy way to communicate. So for writers, comedians and even the average joe, can't you be a little more creative?
I know that a lot of my writing comes from the snark section of my brain (located between the Temporal and Occipital lobes) so maybe it's a bit unfair for me to get my back up about this but last time I checked, there's nothing I can do about being Asian any more than there's anything you can do about being white, black, pink, gay, blue or green. So unless you're Mitch McConnell (the epitome of White Man-ness), if I'm going to call you out or say something stupid, you can be sure it's going to be for some other reason than your race.
Judge me for being bitchy. For wearing jeans that are too short. For watching
Dirty Dancing 200 times. But being Korean? It's just not that interesting.
Myuch Sshe Eh yo?
Ms. P
Labels: konichiwa
12 Comments:
"the people saying these things are often liberals who really ought to know better."
Does that mean conservatives get a pass? What does being liberal or conservative have to do with having manners?
Good question, anonymous.
I don't think conservatives get a pass but honestly, I expect more from my liberal brethren.
It's actually worse to me when an educated lib says something racist than when an ignorant redneck does.
I seem to find that many racial comments are all about context. Have you ever laughed at a racial joke? No? Hmmm... I gonna doubt that. Think Dave Chappelle is funny? He could be a racist under your microscope. Or does he get a pass because he is funny? I am sure that you, being such an enlightened liberal, can understand the difference between hate speech, a misguided joke, and a comment from someone less inclined to understand cultural sensitivities. Or, is every comment, no matter how unintentionally racist it may be, an act of hate speech? Or is it the comments guided towards one specific ethnicity the ones you are willing to call out? If so, isn't that racist in and of itself?
"I gonna doubt that?" Okay. I do think there's reverse racism. I also don't like Dave Chappelle, since you mentioned him. I'm curious, anonymous, what your experience with racism has been?
Honestly, when writing the line about comedy I was thinking of Sarah Silverman whose "I'm cute so I can say horribly offensive things" delivery gets on my nerves.
I do make the distinction between all the things you mentioned, but I get the impression that you, too, are telling me I should just lighten up and get over it or understand that not all people comprehend cultural sensitivities. I do understand those things but I fail to comprehend how that makes any of it right? It saddens me that we're even having this discussion in this day and age.
I don't think I ever said "hate speech" in my post, but whatever. I can only speak from my own experience and relate that. If it bothers you somehow, I'm sorry. I felt it would have been ignorant to write about my encounters with racism and then say that encompasses the feelings of all people who deal with it on a regular basis.
it makes me slightly curious & very frustrated to hear someone either defend "someone less inclined to understand cultural sensitivities" (or as i know it "willfully ignorant folks") or tell someone who takes offense to racial comments to basically lighten up. i'm a white dude who lives in the suburbs of a predominately white state and i only know life as such. i have absolutely no right to tell someone else HOW they should feel about, or if they should take offense to, any racial comment.. NO MATTER THE CONTEXT! a misguided joke is a mistake btw, and therefore no less harmful or hateful. and i believe ms. p was writing about comments directed at her and her ethnicity because she has actually experienced them. i mean, i don't write books about proper care and handling of pythons during space travel, ya know?
well played "anonymous".. oh wait, if we were all still in middle school i might say that but since we're all adults you just come off like a dick. nice one.
Ah yes, I'm terribly familiar with the "you need to get a sense of humor" or "you need to lighten up" school of response when you call someone on offensive stuff. I get it in response to sexist comments and jokes that I just won't let slide. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be the "angry feminist" who calls people out all the time but I've just never been able to let things slide. Truthfully I'm always optimistic that if I can explain why what the person said was offensive they'll say "Oh I get it. I'm sorry and won't do that again." That's really stupid of me because it never happens that way. Instead they say "get a sense of humor."
First off, I am not telling anyone to lighten up or simply get over it. I am not trying to dictate how someone should feel regarding any comment yet only try and help someone gain understanding in that not all "racial" comments have the same purpose. We can all agree that true racism, unfortunately, still exists and is disgusting, repulsive, and a prime example of human failure. My experiences comes from being constantly bullied as a child combined with watching the parents of my friends and my grandparents, to put it lightly, condemn people of other races. It made me sick then and it still does today.
Yet, with that said, I have always felt that laughing about our differences builds bridges rather than perpetuating polarization. Maybe I'm wrong. I will agree that race based humor (see: Carlos Mencia, who although extremely unfunny would not be someone I would consider racist.) is way over played, I still cannot understand how one (attention: dual tonality) can equate the comic buffoonery of a Dave Chappelle to that of say, David Duke. They are different in that they have opposite purposes. The CONTEXT defines their meaning in that one is attempting to spread humor and the other is spreading hatred. Dave Chappelle using the "N" word is contextually different than neo-nazi hate speech or those repulsive comments Ms. P heard while in Texas. To say they're both the same in that they have the EXACT same purpose, effect, and meaning, simply because the are the same word, is to be blind and critically weak.
There are people who just don't get it sometimes and yes, they are ignorant. But there are ignorant people and then there are ignorant, racist people. They are not the same no matter how badly you want to think they are. One's purpose is hate, the other's accidental or heck, it may even be FUNNY. Context is everything and it takes talent to deliver racial humor in an interpretable style where any confusion as to the joke's function is removed. See: Richard Pryor, Damon Wayans, and George Carlin.
Anonymous (your name wouldn't be Dylan by any chance, would it?),
I'm sorry to say this but it really seems like you don't want to actually read what I have to say but merely wish to lecture and "try and help someone gain understanding in that not all "racial" comments have the same purpose." Are you truly unaware of how condescending that sounds? Maybe when you have to deal with racial comments/racism on a regular basis we can talk about gaining understanding (having racist relatives doesn't quite count). Until then, I would refrain from trying to teach us poor minorities a thing or two.
I'm not sure who you think wants "badly" to equate ignorant people with ignorant, racist people? I also don't know where I ever said all racial comments are the same and I do make the distinction between the examples I've given. Perhaps I wasn't clear in that regard (even though I said the exact same thing in my earlier reply). However, I'm really unsure as to what you're trying to defend here? Ignorant people who aren't racist but say things like "Do you speak Chinese?" to a Korean person (trust me, after hearing that 100 times, it gets really old)? Kentuckians (since you made the distinction about my experiences in Texas)? Comedians (since you seem to go on and on about how we don't understand them)?
I encourage lively debate here and am always willing to listen to opinions that differ from mine. However, here's some racism for you: I'm not sure I'm willing to take advice on how to deal with racial issues from some patronizing white guy who cannot bother to listen to what I'm saying before firing off some "Gotcha!" comments on my blog when he clearly doesn't get me at all.
We can keep going back and forth about this but perhaps we should just agree to disagree.
Michelle,
I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
I always love when men put women down. Admittedly there are some women who make me ashamed to be female, but still.
Thanks for reading!
And when you're half.... just when you think you've heard everything, along comes a stunner.
Wow, that's sad but I'm not surprised. My fiance is mixed race...yet everyone thinks he's of Arab descent because they only look at his skin tone. People ask me where he's from all the time and when I say "Alabama" they always go..."Oh". Or people stare at him until he gives them the dirtiest look.
Me, I'm African and Brazilian descent (with some Indigenous) and I've heard all kinds of crazy, racist nonsense...like black people can't get any darker (as far as exposure to the sun), black people can't become victims of eating disorders/depression, black people don't have to time to be vegetarians/vegans (what!!)...the list goes on. My fiance and I are planning on leaving Kentucky after we're done with school, the lack of diversity and constant ignorance is too much.
Wow, Mo... That sucks. Black people don't have time to become vegetarians? Jesus. Did you ask that person if it's true that ignorant idiots are born without a brain?
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